Saturday, January 1, 2005


New Year's Day has to be the self help book marketer's dream.  Over the years my lists alone have probably denuded an acre of white pine. I can't even imagine the deforestation involved in the printing of all the books I have bought in the hope of expediting the success of those resolutions.  No more! I have realized that I will never become a super model, own a wardrobe that is anything other than functional and machine washable, wear the latest look in eye make-up or own shoes that will make any man say anything other than "hey, I need a new pair of work boots, where did you get yours"?  I will never make millions selling real-estate with no money down. I will not write the great American novel. No New Year's Day promise is ever going to cause my closets to be clutter free or keep my bedlam of plastic food storage containers nested and stored in the same cupboard as their lids.  Not going to happen!

My resolutions this year will not require self help books or the seeking of knowledge from strangers. They will all be things that I am already good at and if not comfortable with then at least resigned to.

For the year 2005, I hereby resolve to:

1.  Continue feeling guilty about not sending return email in anything like a timely manner. Along with several that I have received lately, I will delay returning the one from two years ago, and another that I am apparently aging like a fine wine.  I will continue to occasionally nag myself that I need to get around to answering them, not do it, then feel guilty.

2.   I will not learn to wrap gifts with neat corners and precise creases and just a smidge of transparent tape at the overlap. I will continue to use whatever wrapping is near at hand with particular emphasis on aluminum foil sheets and plastic grocery store bags, smoosh the extra under the folds rather than trimming it off, and I may again use 1-1/2" wide lime green masking tape as a substitute for transparent if I run across the masking tape first when I have to actually wrap something.

3.   I will not work on improving my musical taste in anyway.  I will continue to play my Rick James CD at close to the maximum volume as I drive the thirteen miles into town.  I will remain unashamedly fond of almost anything performed by the Carpenters. I will still play Barry Manilow when I want to feel young because the very first concert that I every went to in my life was Barry Manilow. I was 12, I fell in love and I will not abandon my first love.  That almost every one's taste in music evolves after the passing of three decades and mine has not will not bother me even for a second.


4.   I will continue to cut my own hair even knowing that I don't do it well and it makes a naturally bad situation worse.  People are used to my "I happen to prefer to do my grooming in high winds look" -- it startles them, but they are used to it. I resolve to walk through the year with excruciatingly bad hair and not do a thing to improve the situation.

These resolutions, I believe I will keep.


karensull12 said...

These are my kinds of resolutions!

shadp said...

Thanks for that, Mary - gave me a terrific laugh, something that doesn't happen too often! Who is Rick James? As for Barry Manilow - I guess 12 must be about the right age group for his music! Forgive me - just teasing! Take no notice. And hair? Well you know what they say - God made only a few PERFECT heads. The rest he had to cover with hair!


thisismary said...

David, Thank you so much for visiting my journal!!!!  Huge smile!

jcnspots said...

Yeah, resolutions one can expect to keep are much better than ones that would actually require some effort resulting in life-changing and lifestyle alteration.  Bah!  None of that self-help crap for me.  Might make a bad situation far worse- Might have to actually associate with people in the real world- as opposed to the cyber-world- and that's not a comforting thought.  There's some whackos out there!  And, there's no "ignore author", "block IM", or "block email" button for real people!  Don't we wish there was?  Or at least a "control-alt-delete" button that we could mash at around 11 am if the day wasn't going according to specification?  :)  Besides, methinks I am far beyond any sort of help that comes bound in a book from Barnes & Noble.  Oh well, the dogs generally like me, as I persist in feeding them and sharing my bed with as many as want to hop up there and steal my space.

jevanslink said...

OOOOOOO -- you got a visit from David.  I'm jealous.  You've got email "aging like a fine wine." LOL.  Mine has mold. Aluminum foil wrapping paper -- great minds think alike. And Barry Manilow makes ya feel young, huh? Dick Clark did it for me until this whole stroke thing.  Happy New Year.   Mrs. L [whose hair is groomed by one of those informercial egg whip thingys.]