Sunday, October 2, 2005

Attack by Ham Sandwich!~

To clarify, I was not attacked by a ham sandwich, despite my suspicions as to the intentions of a half spiral sliced ham that I purchased on Friday.  That ham managed to rearrange itself into a provocative shape right there in my deli drawer and despite the plastic shrink wrap.  I always foster suspicions about processed meat products that exhibit signs of spontaneous obscenity.  I shouldn't have used the word spontaneous, for all I know, the ham rearranged itself with some deliberate nefarious intention.  I digress before I even attempt to head towards my point, banner evening for me!

Dinner hour, 5:49 pm on the Sabbath to be exact, the phone rings.  An important message from a political action committee.  A recorded, hired, young female voice, innocent for the gals with just a touch of sexy for the guys but positively dripping righteous indignation proceeds to deliver the message that Ohio Representative Mike Oxley has supported Tom DeLay on several occasions and Majority Leader DeLay has been INDICTED for money laundering (yes the machine said that) so therefore Republicans are evil and no one should vote for a Republican ever (ok, the Democratic machine did not say exactly that, but that was the message).  Hey!  A machine calls me at dinner time on Sunday, they have a get to the point and I mean right now listener, I edited for them.

A good prosecutor can indict a ham sandwich.  Not saying that Mr. DeLay is as pure as the driven snow, but the trial has not even started.  Democratic Political Hay may just be turned into compost yet.  As I had been interpreted by a machine with an important message, I was not in a good mood.  I therefore promised the machine that they were going to be the subject of an entry in my journal.  I doubt the machine cared.

Regardless, while Republicans may or may not be guilty of causing hurricanes and moving money from point A to point B, Democrats are most certainly guilty of violating the sanctity of the Sabath and family dinner hour.  If the machine wants folk to condemn Republicans by inuendo, they can wear the extension of their logic. 

Democrats want to destroy dinner hour and they are against observation of the Sabbath.  Republicans need to hire better accountants and Democrats are out to destroy families and God.

One phone call.  Mighty productive if ya ask me.  Mr.Oxley ya listening?  Want the local Republican party to hold a fund raiser at my place? Just ask!  I have a railroad consisting of industrial locomotives that were either manufactured or worked in the state of Ohio, and I can do food for up to 400 people with a weeks notice.  Just ask.  Send your thank you to the Dems and their mindless, Sabath violating, anti family dinner hour auto dialer.


shaz19743 said...

Wow these guys really pushed the wrong buttons didnt they !
I hate these recorded message calls sent out on autodialers at the most annoying times telling you what to think in an oooohhh sooooooo holier than thou way !
You tell em mary !
And id just like to say 400 IN A WEEK ! you are my super hero of the cooking world ! x

memes121 said...

You go girl!