Sunday, January 1, 2012

Resolved


New Year's Day has to be the self help book marketer's dream.  


Over the years my lists alone have probably denuded an acre of white pine. I can't even imagine the deforestation involved in the printing of all the books I have bought in the hope of expediting the success of those resolutions.  


No more! I have realized that I will never become a super model, own a wardrobe that is anything other than functional and machine washable, wear the latest look in eye make-up or own shoes that will make a man say anything other than "hey, I need a new pair of work boots, where did you get yours"?  I will never make millions selling real-estate with no money down. I will not write the great American novel. No New Year's Day promise is ever going to cause my closets to be clutter free or keep my bedlam of plastic food storage containers nested and stored in the same cupboard as their lids. 


Not going to happen!


My resolutions this year will not require self help books or the seeking of guidance from strangers. They will all be things that I am already good at and if not comfortable with, then at least resigned to.


For the year 2012, I hereby resolve to:


1.  Continue feeling guilty about not sending return email in anything like a timely manner. Along with several that I have received lately, I will delay returning the one from two years ago, and another that I am apparently aging like a fine wine.  I will continue to occasionally nag myself that I need to get around to answering them, not do it, then feel guilty.


2.   I will not learn to wrap gifts with neat corners and precise creases and just a smidge of transparent tape at the overlap. I will continue to use whatever wrapping is near at hand with particular emphasis on aluminum foil sheets and plastic grocery store bags, smoosh the extra under the folds rather than trimming it off, and I may again use 1-1/2" wide lime green masking tape as a substitute for transparent if I run across the masking tape first when I have to actually wrap something.


3.   I will not work on improving my musical taste in anyway.  I will continue to play my Rick James CD at close to the maximum volume as I drive the thirteen miles into town.  I will remain unashamedly fond of almost anything performed by the Carpenters. I will still play Barry Manilow when I want to feel young because the very first concert that I every went to in my life was Barry Manilow. I was 12, I fell in love and I will not abandon my first love.  That almost every one's taste in music evolves after the passing of four decades (pause) and mine has not will not bother me for even one second.


Finally


4.   I will continue to cut my own hair even knowing that I don't do it well and it makes a naturally bad situation worse.  People are used to my "I happen to prefer to do my grooming in high winds look".  I resolve to walk through the year with excruciatingly bad hair and not do a thing to improve the situation.


These resolutions, I believe I will keep.

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